Clearly I’ve found it difficult to keep up a personal blog in 2010. At least one I’m comfortable with my business colleagues reading.
It’s not that what I do isn’t interesting- something wacky comes up almost every day, good bad or indifferent. Maybe it’s that the last two years have humbled me a great deal, and it’s hard to justify writing something I know only a handful of people would find stimulating and entertaining. I’ve also found that, perhaps as a self defense mechanism, my own personal interest in the world of technology wanes when I don’t have the disposable income to actually buy the things I would typically be so enthralled with. Student loans, a tough economy, and the everything-but-the-kitchen-sink random expenses that get thrown at you when you’re just about to come out ahead have made 2010 a frustrating year, to put it lightly.
I’ve had to force myself to find new ways to cope with changing reality, and I’m learning things about myself all the time as a result. I’ve found that just by losing weight, it doesn’t automatically give you motivation to keep it off. It’s my biggest vice, and I’m accepting that not going hogwild with the food and the beer and the etcetcetc is going to be a lifetime struggle. That’s ok. There are worse things out there other people are battling. Instead of going to the gym, I’m trying to get involved in sports. Instead of dieting, I’m going to (when I lose some of the weight I gained back last month!) just commit to cooking at home more. Instead of Whole Foods, Costco. You get the idea. I’ve also developed a bit of an obsession with my balcony garden and growing my own chili peppers. I have a feeling it’s not going to end well for my stomach.
Resisting the temptation to be reactive instead of proactive is the most difficult part of my career thus far. When I’m in a tough meeting with someone that works for me, or in the zone training, or deep into writing a new policy manual or training webinar, I can’t be stopped. I know that when I’m on my feet and running with something, there is nobody better at this job than me. The dangerous part is when your machine is well oiled, it’s sometimes hard to imagine it better than it already is. Or to reach down and find the fortitude necessary to rock the boat that is sailing along respectably without your meddling. What I’ve found in the last two months is that this process snowballs- when I get one thing going that I just pulled out of nowhere and it works, it motivates me to mess with something else, then something else, until I sit back and say, “Everything about this is wrong!”
Then, of course, I have to get a cup of coffee, because I know I’m going to be up all night anyway.
Here is a picture from the vacation I took this year in Trinidad, CA. If you ever drive through Northern California, you owe it to yourself to stop in.
